Thank You both for nice words... and trying to help me... being with me.
I just have some "identity crisis". It is not very nice.
I don't know who I am, where I am going... In one second I am so happy that I have so great friends like You are but another second I want to jump under the train. Sometimes I have very strong convulsions of wrath without any reason and so. All of this is changing from one to another second... it is so exhausting. I am trying to listen to nice music, taking a shower, reading books, learning... and all these things which always helped me but nothing works.
Only you all are helping me...
I don't know if I am worth person, if I can manage my life.... all this stuff comes on my mind. It's like poison.
I wonder that maybe - the time in Budapest was so nice that I can't manage the return back to this "dirty, non-sense" life here... I flew so high and now I fall so long...
I am sorry for my psychical break-downs with which I am bothering You still...
Thank You so much... You all are my beloved ones...