Oh my Azathoth, this is dead-funny!
Cthulhu's jumping up and down,
His forehead crinkled with a frown,
Shub-Niggurath jumps down and up
And asks his friend:"Where's my cup?"
They are to visit one old king,
The owner of a diamond ring.
Yog-Sothoth knew and saw it all
And thus foresaw Cthulhu's fall
"Into eternal slumber He'll go,
His snores will bring eternal woe
Upon the ears of beasts and men
And even of domestic hen.
His snores, oh, what an act of god!"
Thus spoke all-seeing Yog-Sothoth.
Cthulhu, however, still awake,
As he fell for a young long snake
He doesn't know the snake is male!
The green Great Old One went all pale
When seeing after a hot flirt
He said:"You are my dire dirt!"
But an English teacher is coming"
So he screamed, while Yog-Sothoth was humming
In a terrible unearthly voice
And it was really pleasant noice
These concerts are well-known here.
Then the teacher cried: "Oh my dear!
You are nothing but Lovecraftian ficition!"
"Oh, my dear, but it's your affliction!
You came when we were having dinner.
Bossy teacher, you're one lucky winner:
You look real, you look tasty, we're hungry
Welcome to our starving country
Take your seat in our plate!"
So he met his cruel fate.
Fiction or not, the teacher was eaten
Then a policeman came and Cthulhu was beaten
But by Alhazred he was acclaimed
By the Great Old One the poor cop was maimed
Because now Cthulhu had been encouraged