The "Worst Case Scenario" Game

[The One]

For all your morbid mids, I guarantee this game will be fun
What's the idea? You get a situation from the previous poster, and write what's the worst that could happen. Try to be creative and funny in this one.
Example:
Situation: Playing chess.
You are kind of dumb and slow at learning, so when someone says: "Eat the horse!" you actually go on and take the horse piece into your mouth, and start swallowing it as it is too hard to chew... You start choking and they call a first aid "expert" who actually makes things a lot worse... Then, as he thinks you're dead (you're not, you're just agonizing with a chess figure in your throat!), he takes out one of those electrical reviers and shocks you to death.

Next situation: Killing a deer
Sounds fun to you?
So lets' start with the first situation: Killing a deer

[Loke]

 Worst case scenario...shoot your hunting mate in the head by accident and ...oops it's your father in law


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Situation :   Taking a bath



yo yo yo

[Markus]

You are taking a bath. You'd like more of that nice scented bath-foam, so you stand up in the bath-tube and reach out for the bottle. Of course you slip at that very moment and fall over backwards. You try to cling to the bathroom-shelf, but it falls over and buries you beneath it. The wound at the back of your skull wouldn't have killed you, but the shelf broke the off the tap and you're buried beneath the shelf, so you slowly drown while several cubic metres of scented foam fill your bathroom and while lots of water spill from the bath tube, flow out of your bathroom, through your apartment door and down the stairs.

A young lady slips on those slippery stairs and breaks her neck. She was a physics student and would have discovered a way of deflecting approaching planetoids soon, but as she died because of your bath the world has to watch helplessly as a 10-km-rock goes on collision course three years later. That's the end of our world then.

Next one: You try to make one of the champion's breakfasts from the offtopic-section.

[Nighthawk]

It's morning and you're hungry as hell.

The first thought that comes to mind when you open your eyes is that you could go with a nice order of Chiles Rellenos. You remember you had a party last night (the hangover hits you like a hundred-pound primadona on caffeine) so you reach under the bed and take out two chillies. You roll over to the fridge, find some cheese under it and some eggs inside, and you grab some lice and a few beers.

You forget it's supposed to be rice and beens, but that's severe hangover for you.

You mix it together and take a big bite.

What you didn't know is that, on top of everything else, the chillies were way past their expiration date (if chillies even have those... even if they don't *theme from the Twilight Zone*).

You chew the food, but it doesn't taste quite right, so you leave it more or less uneaten on the kitchen sink, near the window. You sit down because, suddenly, you don't feel so good... luckily, right at that moment a crazed puma jumps through the window, drawn by the scent of the would-be meal. He takes a bite out of the sandwich, but soon barfs in disgust. Seeing as he couldn't indulge his appetite on the sandwich, he turns to you. He roars, and you get a headache 'cause, damn, that was some mean party last night.

He roars again, and you feel your head's about to burst... when it suddenly does.

You'd wove you'll never drink beer again, but you can't, can you? The moral of the story is - alcohol kills.


Next up: Making tofu. That stuff can kill you.

[The One]

Agh... Hard one...
As you start squashing the soy seeds to make your sweet and delcious tofu, you get loads of poison spilled into your eyes. You realize you have taken some posionous seed from a carnivorous plant instead of the soy you wanted at the supermarket. As you're blinded you do not see that you're walking out of the kitchen, through the main door of your apartment, that for some reason you left open, and then crash into a wall and fall through the stairway of your 20-story building (you made a mistake when buying the pent house on the 20th story some 4 years ago!) as you fall, all your bones get broken, and you collide with a table left on the stairs by some workers from the furniture store as they're having some beers. The collision catapults you through the open window, and now you're lying on the street extremely wounded, and bleeding. A punk passes by and spits at you. You die 5 minutes later.

Next one: Going to a CD store

[Loke]

 There you are, ready to get the new therion cd, looking al around the metal section , is not there, suddenly the little guy offers his help by sayng "can i help you sir?", your reply is obvious, yes im looking for the bla bla bla, and the response is..."NB has asked all the stores to retire all therion records due to a conflict of interests, also the web sites and the forums will be banned by the cyber police, so no therion any more"  aaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrggggggggggggghhhhh!!!


  cruel right?

yo yo yo

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Just about to have sex


yo yo yo 2

[Markus]

You're just about to have sex with that dream girl you've been longing for for several months now. You get everything right - a romantic candlelight dinner, a romantic nightly walk home, lots of candles and stuff. Everything is perfect. She's doing things to you that you've never even heard of, and all through that night you keep giving unknown ecstasies to  each other.

The next morning you suddenly feel sick, and you collapse with a heavy fever. You call the emergency number, and the doctor tells you that obviously you had some light flu and she had some light flu which melted together into a deadly superflu. Five minutes later your lungs are a bloody mess, and the new flu from you is spreading through the town, the country, the world. It's the end of mankind.

Next one: You're feeding ducks in the park.

[The One]

You go out to teh park to go feed the ducks. The ducks turn out to be extremely fierce demons from hell spying on Earth's activity and see as an obstacle. They chop your hand off together with what you were trying to feed them with and eat it. You run around and scream with a bleeding arm without a hand. An old lady passes by and faints, a police officer notces that and hits you in the head extremely hard, so hard it breaks your fragile skull. You become unconscious.
Soon you wake up in a gay hospital and see thousands of homosexuals awaiting for your awakening, what they do once you open your eyes, is that they all rape you in their wicked ways. They rape you to death.

Next one: Drawing a picture

[Ereshkigal]

You decide it's time to relax and the best way is to sit and make those drawings that you are sort of good doing.

So you grab your sheet of paper, grab a pencil and sit at a comfortable place at home. As you use the pencil to draw the first line you realize you need to sharpen it...but the sharpener is upstairs and you are feeling lazy. So you have the wonderful idea to sharpen it with your mom's super butcher knife. You begin to do so and there! You completely chop  your middle and index finger.  You are rushed to the hospital with both chopped fingers in a Zilploc bag filled with ice.

After a while the doctor that performed the "reattachment" surgery says it all went well, and you note the smell of alcohol in his breath  So when you are released home and the bandage is taken off you realize they were incorrectly attach and now your middle finger is where the index is supposed to be and vice versa!  And now you are stuck for the rest of your life with weird looking fingers on your left hand 

Next worse case scenario: You will take your grandma for a walk

 

[Loke]

 It's asunny day, your mum asks you to take granny to the park to take some sun, well she is thirsty and you offer to get her a nice ice cream, what would be your surprise, your ex girldfriend who you havent seen for ages sells the ice creams as a part time job, she is cutter than before, thinner, and bigger in other things, after a few minute chat she asks you to have a quick shag behind the bushes, obviously you accept , after an hour or two you rember that your grandma is still in the sun and you run for her, now she is burned to death and being picked her eye balls out by birds... horney dumb ass


yo yo yo

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 Going to a therion's gig


yo yo yo 2

[Markus]

You are going to a Therion concert. Before they play you have to bear two other bands named Sabaton and Grave Digger. Therion themselves play for not even two hours. This is not the end of the world, but you wish it were.

Next one: You buy a first-aid-kit.

[Loke]

 As you are a precautious guy you buy yourself a first aid kit for your new flat, you  dont have where to put it so you just toss it in the last up shelf of your closet, then your gf comes and you are prepering dinner for her, suddenly you chop your finger along with the onion and now you need a band aid, but mate, you have your new first aid kit, so you go to look for it and realise is way to high, you reach it and bum! it falls on your head and kills you ...

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Excersising in a gym



yo yo yo

[The One]

You enter the gym, which for some reason is empty. You start on one of those bicylce machines, but it soon gets out of control and you fall off in front of it, the wheel of the machine frees itself and squashes your back. You then try with the weights, but it's too heavy and not secured so besides breaking your arms, the weights fall on your feet and you end up holding a metal bar with broken arms and injured feet. Now you try the treadmill, this one goes quite smoothly, and as a hot girl passes in, you try to impress her, you speed the treadmill up, but in result you fall down, and are catapulted to a mirror, which you break with your behind and get stuck in it. As she looks at you, she laughs, and then leaves. Once you get yourslef free from the broken mirror, you think fo just leaving the gym at this very moment, but as you attempt to get to get out, some huge appears and sees the destruction in amazement. You try to sneak off silently, but he catches  you and gives you a bill for all damages done to the gym.
You end up working as janitor of the gym for the next 20 years.

Next one: Going to a dance

[Markus]

You're going to a dance. They play hip-hop. It's not the end of the world, but you wish it were.

Next one: You try to post in the "Worst Case Scenario Game"-thread.

[Aluqak]

You are tring to post in the "worst scenario game" at ntsms, then a lighning strike your house and burns off your computer. You move to an internet café next to your home and log-in to the forum only to see that Aluqak has already posted a very stupid answer instead of you (and has also eaten half of the forum) . A second lightning strikes the internet café and you die of a heart attack.

Next one: "You are kissing your loved one"

[Loke]

 You are kissing your beloved one and suddenly she starts to get playful,more than normal,


worst case scenario 1 :   She strats to make love to you like a wild animal and suddenly she yells another name instead of yours

worst case scenario 2 : You try to blow all of the canddles in the room and when you try to blow the last one oops...you fart!



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Feeding the doves in the park

yo yo yo

[Markus]

You're feeding the doves in the park. Suddenly they all turn into ducks and behave like this.

Next one: It's 5.23 p.m. and you're sitting in the office.

[Aluqak]

It's 5:23 p.m. you are at work and getting all your stuff ready to leave and have a pleasant night at home. There is a very good football match on the t.v. and you've bought a 6-pack of your favourite beer for the occasion. Sudenly, your boss gets in in a hurry. "Quick we have to discuss this very important matter before you leave" says the bastard, "it will take only five minutes".
You start swearing in your head 'cause you know that one minute of your boss' time = 20 minutes of YOUR time. You talk... well, you listen your boss talking for an hour and a half. Then you leave and you get stoked into the traffic and your way back. When you get home the match it's on its way after more than an hour. Your team is loosing 2-0 and one of its players has been sent off for a doubtful handball. You pop up a beer only to realise that you've bought the "light" and tasteless version. You curse your boss, your team, the referee and the f*cking j*rk who inveted light beers.
It's not the end of the world, but it seems pretty much like it... and believe me, if you are a biologist and you work in an university it DOES happen 

Next: You are doing some coffee for your NTSMS friends

[Luth]

You're making coffe for your NTSMS fellows. As you know that they use to drink/eat/swallow/whatever caffeine in unimaginable quantities, you've had the idea to buy an extra-heavy-coffe-maker-machine. You read the instructions to make it start, but you don't understand which button is the start one, so you decide to push the green one... ERROR!!! The machine starts a heavy noise and pours a thick, black smoke which quickly fills all the room. You walk on your knees searching for the door, but accidentally you pull out a wire, and all boiling coffee begins to pour and fall to where you are, burning you all (specially your long and loved hair).

When your NTSMS friends arrive, they notize that something is wrong, but they can only see a hugh mass of iron and wires and a heavy coffee aroma... and some bones drained with a black liquid.

Next worst case: you go to Wacken.

[Loke]

 You go to waken, in the entrance the security guy tells you that your ticket is pirat, fake, false a copy, well you missed it and yoiur money , is not the end of the world but...hell yeah , it is the end of the worl

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You buy a hamburger at mcshitals donald's , sorry


yo yo yo