The "Worst Case Scenario" Game

[Diane]

Ahhh...  the day has finally arrived.  You've been looking forward to this day for months!  Got all the neccesities neatly packed.  Even bought a brand new tent (black with psychedelic colored stars that glow in the dark!... haha)  Your cell phone is all charged up...  ran down your check-list to make sure you have everything (especially plane tickets!), then you head to the airport.  The time comes to board your plane that will take you over the big pond and touch down in Germany.   Zoooooom....    Plane lands and you wait at the airport for Markus to pick you up.  One hour late...  two hours late...  three hours go by and no Markus!  The security people begin to look at me suspiciously because I drank so much coffee waiting that I began bouncing off the walls and ceiling!   And I couldn't reach him with my phone because every time I dialed his number, all I got was the spooky music from Halloween (the movie)!  Finally, Markus walked through the terminal (so I thought... his head was covered with a Therion hoodie), and motioned for me to follow him...   mumbling something about his car broke down and we need to take a cab.  As the cab is driving away onto the highway, I begin a conversation.   "Markus" slowly turns his head towards me and I screamed!  It wasn't Markus at all (God only knows what happened to him!)...   it was Michael Myers!!!   Well folks...  guess who never made it to Wacken!?  

Next worse case:  You babysit quadruplets    

[Diane]

hahaha  Loke...

I took so long writing mine that I didn't notice you writing a Wacken one, too!

I like my story better than yours!   

[The One]

I'll go with Eve's story...
So, you get into the house and start the babysitting of the four little devils. Before the parents leave they introduce you to them and give you a long list of chores they are suposed to do. When the parents leave, you are calmly watching TV with the kids and suddenly, two of them start arguing about changing channel, and fight violently. You try to stop them, but they get out knifes from the kitchen and repel you. They fight with the knifes until both of them are dead. The remaining two have started to do their chores, but they do it all wrong and the house ends up being a bigger mess than what it was. You give them instructions of how to fix that as you get rid of the corpses. When you're back from the clandestine grave digging, you've noticed the house has no power and that the huge mess has grown even larger. You doiscover that another of the little bastards has died due to exposure to electric cables and lightning strike. The last one pretty much coopertaes with you when fixing the huge mess, but as youa re cleaning up the kitchen he, stabs you in the back with a knife and sets the house on fire.

Next one: Going to a funeral.

[Markus]

You're going to the funeral of a friend of yours who went to Hel under mysterious circumstances. You see a lot of pretty women there, but soon they start arguing and fighting - it turns out that they're all widows of your buddy, as are half of the men around. Even the Catholic priest looks more sad than you'd expect him to. As you wipe away a tear, thinking that you'll never meet that buddy of yours again, you realize that your friend still owed you a thousand bucks.

That's when you hear a knock from inside the coffin. Your friend gets up again, as do all the "inhabitants" of the graves around you. The dead resurrect - this is the end of the world.

Next one: You're waiting for the bus.

[The One]

As you're sitting on the bus stop, an old lady sits by your side and starts talking to you. After a while she becomes annoying because she talks of all kinds of disgusting experiences she's had when she was hospitalized. Due to her distracting you, you miss the first bus that passes by. You keep on listening to talkative granny until the next bus gets there, when you try to get on, someone pushes you and lets the granny get on. You sit down on the bench again and wait... Wait... And than fall asleep... When you wake up again you have just one chance to get on the bus to go home, which will come in about 2 minutes, you satnd on the road as you wait... Then the bus appaers at full speed and leaves you as a sticker on the road... The driver was drunk apparently.

Next one: Getting braces

[Loke]

I'll go with Eve's story...

Seniority first uh? betrayer!


yo yoyo Jk btw

[melchiah131]

Getting braces (not the ones cops use).During a routine check up at your dentist's you make an eerie discovery!!!!! You must wear braces!!!!!! You are 26 and you must wear braces!!!!You tried to seek an alternative ,but the doctor was absolutelly negative "Eizer you wearrr braces for 2 months mein Herr, or when you zmille from now on you look like a Picasso painting"  (he's German did i mention that ??).So you prepare yourself psychologically that for the next 2 months you will have little to none sex life,you cant eat any salads or other foods that leave bits and pieces in your mouth in public and that you are going to be viewed as the 26 year old nerd at your workplace. Oh well,at least things can't get worse...........or can they??? Upon leaving after a torturous 30' having your braces put on you find that the world is different somehow,there is.......music! But how come only you seem to notice it? And then it hits you like a truck on a highway street !!!!!The braces they work as antennas and your head is the speaker!!!!! Oh, well maybe its not so bad once you get used to it after all you like falling to sleep listening to music and waking up to some.And then you hear the announcement " Today beggining for 3 weeks straight the KRGR disco marathon!!!!" NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!
                                        Coming up next:Volunteering to help at a clinic for the mentally ill (present parties excluded)

[Markus]

You decide that it's time to think of others, not of yourself only. You want to do something social, something that helps others. You might go singing for the elderly, help playing with the kids in a public kindergarten in a poor part of the town or something like that, so you go to an agency for volounteer work. The only job they have left over at the moment is at a clinic for the mentally ill. What the hell, you think, they need aid as well.

For a week, all goes well. You go to the clinic for two hours after work every day and spend that time chatting with the patients, playing board-games and the like. Thanks to your visitor's card it's easy to leave the security barriers after your volounteer work. Until, one day, you cannot find it anymore. You search and rummage your bags and your clothes and everything, go back to the place where you sitting with a mad chess-player to search there, too - nothing.

Not a problem, you think, because yo can tell the guy that you're not a patient. That you're here for volounteer work only. To support him, for instance, to make his job easier. "Suuure", that giant says, "and now I'll take you home." After the injection you sleep peacefully for a whole day, then the procedure repeats. It takes a week for you to accept your situation.

After that time you feel rather fine, actually. The days are a little bit boring, but the folks from the volounteer agency that come in for two hours every day bring a little fun with them. Oh, and there's another patient who shares your interest in natural sciences. You speak to him about physics and biology for hours and hours, whenever you both find the time. How should you know how mad and yet intelligent that man really is? Using bits and pieces from everything you ever told him he makes an anaesthetic gas from some flowers and a pot of tea which uses to sedate the wardens so he can flee. Once out he buys some innocent looking materials from a building centre and builds from them a device that explodes with the force of 10.000 hydrogen bombs and that sets free deadly bacteria as it does. That's the end of the world.

[The One]

Um... Markus, have you forgotten something?

[Diane]

Um... Markus, have you forgotten something?

I noticed it too.     

Hint:  The next worse case scenario     

[Lucy]

Don't laugh at him, he wrote a long story, and even the world ended there as usual. So I suggest the next one to be:

Creating a new world.

[Nighthawk]

Seeing as Marcus isn't here and I don't think he'd mind, I'll pick up from Lucy's idea.


Right, so you just got that new job at Universal Manufacturing. In fact, they want you to create a whole new world.

'Why not?' you yell enthusiastically. Why not, indeed? Nothing can go wrong.





...


Or can it? *theme from the Twilight Zone*


You decide to start small. Day and night, light and darkness. Then you go for some land, some sky, a little bit o' this, a little bit o' that. You create some plants, you fill the world with animals - all this green stuff is terribly popular these days, you're told, and you yourself don't mind a bit of color here and there. Five days you spend fiddling with it, raising mountains and flattening meadows. You bust your ass creating the most eye-pleasing tourist resort omnipotence can conjure up.

On the sixth day, just for the fun of it, you create man. Seeing as man quickly got tired of playing with himself, you create woman.

You create a neat little garden which you call 3d3|\|, after that n00b chick from the other Server of Existence.
 
In the middle of that neat little garden you place a neat little Tree of Good & Evil, just to spice things up.


Next thing you know, man and woman are doing the Naughty Maneuver in the bushes you so gently created.

You suddenly think that you should've commented out the Procreation Algorithm, as Marty from down the hall did with his creation. They all became extinct, true, but the maintenance cost was negligible.

The bushes keep a-shakin'.



...



Oh,well. There goes the neighborhood.



Next up: Meeting the neighbors.

[The One]

So, you and your girl friend come up with a nice welcome cake to your new neighbors that just moved in a few days ago. They appear to be nice and fun people, with whom you start a conversation, discuss education and get to know each other. Fine, it all goes well, until... They decide to show you how they set up the house. When they get to their room, they lock you both in there, chain you to the bed and torture you in all imaginable ways. (Rape, whipping, chinese torture just to mention a few)

Next one: Getting a job

[Loke]

 Dont getting it... ( )



=====================================================================================


 Going to a wedding


yo yo yo

[Nighthawk]

They decide to show you how they set up the house. When they get to their room, they lock you both in there, chain you to the bed and torture you in all imaginable ways. (Rape, whipping, chinese torture just to mention a few.

Um, why is this a bad thing?

*shrugz*

To each his own, I guess.


You go to your sister's wedding, all psyched and ready for some par-teh! You arrive at the blessed event just in time to see that everyone is extremely shocked and shaken (not stirred). When you ask them what's wrong, they point at your car. You turn around only to see your sister in her wedding dress underneath your chick magnet.

You feel terribly awkward, ruining the wedding by running the bride over with your car, so you try to loosen the situation by remarking that the wedding dress is now no longer white but, rather, a mixture of gray, red and black, which is okay, 'cause those were always her favorite colours and, b'sides, she wasn't that innocent to begin with.

Nobody finds the joke funny.

And they have tire irons.

(get the double irony? damn, I'm good)



Next up: You try to play Deggial on your [electric] guitar (amplifier included).

[The One]

So, you start playing the calm part of Deggial, you have the correct tone and volume and suddenly, your guitar totally loses tune for some reason. You have to sit for the next 3 frustrating hours tuning it. Once you are done tuning it, you start playing and get to the heavier part and when playing a chord, you break all of the strings of your guitar. Fine, you can live with that, you send it to be repaired and get it back in a few days. Again, it doesn't have the tune you need, so you spend another frsutating 3 hours tuning it. When you are ready to play, you decide to play it in your special amp you only use for your little garage band's gigs. (Which suck by the way! ) But, when you connect your guitar to the amp there's a shortcircuit and the guitar does a little "boom" and sets on fire. Soon the fire spreads through the room and the house and burns it all with you included.

Next one: Buying a brand new and huge flat panel TV.

[deathdancer]

You go to the store and buy one of those TVs. The delivery guys install your TV. Just as you turn off TV, it causes a power sarge and explodes. Now after spending all that money on it, you realize that you don't have a bill for it, you trowed it in the trash. Now you are going to the store all angry and you buy a new one and say you will bring it home and install yourself. You pay it and are bringing it home. You enter your building and you see that elevator isn't working. You start climbing your 30th floor where you live. You get to the 29th floor all tired and the TV slips from your hands and smashes down the stairs in hundreds little peaces. You get to your apartment and jump from the window.

Next: Fishing at the lake

[Markus]

You're looking forward to a calm afternoon as you're going to do some fishing on the lake. Suddenly some ducks come swimming by and start behaving like this.

Next one: A lazy Sunday afternoon...

[The One]

You're lying on the couch, relaxed, watching a great football game (Super Bowl!) with some great snacks and a few beers. Then suddenly, your wife asks you to take out the garbage. Ok, fine, you'll probably miss no more than 5 minutes, so you go ahead and go to the front door of your apartment, where your wife has left the garbage bags. You see in amazement, that the amount of garbage is ridiculuosly enormous, and and all packed in little bags... So now, you go to the duct to get rid of it, takes you about 20 minutes to get rid of all of those little bags filled with garbage. When you get back, you try to wash your hands, but there's no water, fine, you'll use the soap that just dries on your hands and leaves them clean... Unfortunately, what you don't notice is that you just got the wrong bottle and sprayed acid all over your hands. You then carelessly go back to the couch to find that your wife has taken over to watch a talk show. Ok, you go to your neighbor, but he is not at home, the damn bastard is watching the game live at the stadium. Fine, you turn on the radio to listen to the game, but as soon as you get to the sports' station, your radio damages... You are now extremely pissed off and start screaming and yelling, kicking and breaking stuff... Suddenly you feel some heat on your hands, you notice theya re melting due to the acid you sprayed on them. You try to clean if off, but you just spread the acid through your arms and the rest of your body. You melt to death.

Next one: Going to a job interview.

[Diane]

You applied to the phone company for a job.  They called you for an interview, and that day has come.  It seems once you get there, the job description has changed.  So, instead of an office job (like you thought), you'll be working high up on telephone poles!  Too bad they couldn't tell you in advance so you could have dressed accordingly for the outside "test".  You're wearing a skirt and high heels and they make you climb a telephone pole.  You're halfway up, and you notice half the neighborhood is looking up your skirt!  (you die from embarrassment)  Then you go up higher, and a flock of migrating geese gets stuck in your nicely coifed hair-do.  You get to the top and one of your spike heels gets caught in some wires.  You get electrocuted.  You die.  End of interview, and you didn't get the job. 

Next up:  On tour with Therion as one of their roadies