If the OffMan is late, I'm later.
Right.
One, you realize you're gonna die soon, right? Don't buy this pro-life propaganda, 14 just means you've got one foot in the grave and that soon, really soon, they'll expect you to buy life insurance and white bread 'cause someone just ate the last slice and it's your turn to hike to the nearest Ma and Pa's 'cause supermarkets are just too damn posh, one step away from Jehovah's witnesses knocking away at your front door, the-end-is-so-extremely-fucking-night speeches and rotten tomatoes flying your way 'cause you botched up another job interview, one step away from TV subscriptions, HBO fees, raging hippies, fascist employers, relationships (non-romantic ones at that) that take up all of your life force because people tend to be ungrateful bastards, constant mental self-buggery because you've reached yet another wall in your social universe, blood, guts, gore and women of the opposite sex.
And sex, that's what it's all about.
...
I lost myself there. Not sure what I was saying back there, but I think it was mostly about sex.
So, yeah, mazel tov.