Ok, read the tagboard and tell us... what do you think this day is? Well be Sirius Killed 7 times to become inmortal, as Erly says?
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Who is Erly? :ph34r:
Anyway, the thing is - I'm already immortal :ph34r:
possibly.
I think we obviously need to discuss this in more detail. Perhaps Luthy and Erly... er I mean Elizabeth.. would both care to step into my office for a discussion? Take a seat, make yourselves comfortable.
That's right, just strap yourselves in, and make sure that sponge is fixed on to the top of your head. :)
I'll just throw this switch to er.. put the lights on :ph34r:
...and then The Elf, Elizabeth, with its unnusual force and agility, tears apart the leather straps, liberating herself, then saves Queen Luthy and knocks down Sirius with an Elvish right cuff.
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ow! *rubs chin*
There's no need for violence! Perhaps we can talk this over? Maybe a ninja elf such as yourself could enjoy the chase, hunting people down so that I kill them without mercy? Maybe you could CHANGE SIDES?!
Here, lets talk it through over a nice cup of tea. :)
*empties vile poisons into the teapot* :ph34r:
*Grabs some pop corn and sits to watch the whole thing*
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That wouldn't be some of my special popcorn would it? :ph34r:
It took me a long time to work out how to get each live wasp inside each piece of corn.
Indeed, dear Sirius, just herbs...
As you also might know, Elves are excellent fighter (that includes us, girls), so not a chance, Orc are easy targets. Stout and stupid ones :evil:
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Well, my precious Erly... er Elizabeth,
You may indeed be a good fighter... but look into your cup of tea! :ph34r:
That's right! I also hid the dawn of the age of MAN inside that pot! :o And you've drunk it all up - accepting it and letting the age of the elves pass away!
It's amazing what you can hide in a teapot, you know. :wacko:
That wouldn't be some of my special popcorn would it? :ph34r:
It took me a long time to work out how to get each live wasp inside each piece of corn.
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:unsure: ... *eats some pop-corn*.... *concentrates in the flavor* -_-
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...
...
Oh! now I see it! that's where the crunchy part came from! :w00t:
Great idea man!, may I have the recipe?
Great idea man!, may I have the recipe?
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Sure thing! I thought you'd like it! :)
[whispers to Aluqak] Hey dude, I've got some other things you might be interested in eating. Ever tasted grilled Elf or roasted Evil Queen? Elf goes great on a barbecue I hear... [/whispers to Aluqak] :ph34r:
[whispers to Aluqak] Hey dude, I've got some other things you might be interested in eating. Ever tasted grilled Elf or roasted Evil Queen? Elf goes great on a barbecue I hear... [/whispers to Aluqak] :ph34r:
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:unsure: ... Looks at Livi.... :unsure:
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Yeah, why not? :D
Wanna join Livi? :ph34r:
Well, Sirius, I migh drunk the end of the Elven Age (that was passing anway), but you put the Orc into the teapot, not in my cup, so you should be expecting some... stomachal troubles...
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Haha! As if it would be possible for me to drink an o....
*sirius dies as an unhappy orc covered in lunch forces his way crossbow-first out of sirius' stomach*
*lies dead for a while*
...then gets up, ready to try again :ph34r:
Dear Ely, thanks for your support... You deserve a place next to my crown :pop:
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Elizabeth! Luthy KNOWS that only last week I buried that crown six feet under ground! :o
Luthy, you are a wicked, mean, evil queen. How could you suggest such a thing?! :ph34r:
*starts digging so that Ely can get her place next to the crown*
Oh, and Sirius: Why is there a knife sticking in you chest? :huh:
Oh, that's mine. I'm sorry - need to be careful next time. :blush:
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*wakes in undead zombie-like state*
Man, this death thing makes me go grey and a bit stinky, to be honest.
Now if only I had some kind of weapon with which to hunt people down...
:huh:
What's this?! A knife?
Someone's left me a knife? :blink:
*squelching noises followed by 'pop' as knife is withdrawn from chest*
I have a knife!!! :iconmi77kl:
:ph34r:
[whispering to Aluqak] EL DÍA DE LOS MUERTOS is just another excuse for a revolution! The time is right! [/whispering to Aluqak]
[whispering to Aluqak] EL DÍA DE LOS MUERTOS is just another excuse for a revolution! The time is right! [/whispering to Aluqak]
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:ph34r:
Someone's left me a knife? :blink:
*squelching noises followed by 'pop' as knife is withdrawn from chest*
I have a knife!!! :iconmi77kl:
:ph34r:
[whispering to Aluqak] EL DÍA DE LOS MUERTOS is just another excuse for a revolution! The time is right! [/whispering to Aluqak]
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A bolt of lightning descends from the sky and crashes into the tip of the knife. Then the current flows through Sirius's hand, arm, chest and legs, off into the ground. By the time the poor guy reaches the Gate of Hel - and he gets express dispatch these days - the knife is already molten into a red-hot puddle on the ground.
A bolt of lightning descends from the sky and crashes into the tip of the knife. Then the current flows through Sirius's hand, arm, chest and legs, off into the ground. By the time the poor guy reaches the Gate of Hel - and he gets express dispatch these days - the knife is already molten into a red-hot puddle on the ground.
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:unsure: I'm not sure about it Markus, but I think you have just created a FrankenSirus.
*hides* :sofa:
Eeerr... I think you're right, Aluqak :brutale_smilies100:
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I'm feeling a bit sleepy... now what happened to that knife? I'd forget my head if it wasn't screwed on properly... :blink:
...wait a minute! :huh:
*tightens bolts in neck*
That's better!
Now, any chance of some more of that lightning stuff? The last lot didn't quite wake me up properly. :sleep_1:
Hmmm... It seems I have a square head, a badly stitched face... and very heavy boots on. Good for treading on things, I should think.
Yes. Treading.
*stomps off in search of Luth's cat*
:ph34r:
Ouch... that must mean that Luth's cat is possessed by Frankenstein's monster, right? Apparently the gods are on vacation, or how could that happen?
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Yikes! you're right...
Luthy puts down a bowl of milk for the nice kitty
:afraid1: :afraid1: :ph34r:
!
*Sacrifices a lot of head-ache and Vitamin C pills*
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:unsure: errr.... Livi? Those weren't vitamin-C pills, they were cyanide... I was planning to use it against Luth's-cat-now-in-Sirus-body... I think the Gods might get angry :o
*hides* :sofa:
:unsure: errr.... Livi? Those weren't vitamin-C pills, they were cyanide... I was planning to use it against Luth's-cat-now-in-Sirus-body... I think the Gods might get angry :o
*hides* :sofa:
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Yeh - and I'm afraid to say Elizabeth - those weren't headache pills. They were my "mini singularity pills" (in development) Oops, shouldn't have left those lying around - sorry! :blush:
*Reads label*
just mix with stomach acids for an instant black hole.
How does an elf look when they collapse in on themselves taking half the surrounding countryside with them?! :o
But I bought those in the nearby shop!
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Yeees, the same shop in which I replaced the vitamin-C pills by cyanide :). What's the problem Livi, how many shops do you think we have here?
Stop blabbing, or I'll get you both meet the nice guy under the Khazad-dum bridge :rolleyes:
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Great, NOW I am getting hungry :iconmi77kl: *preheats oven*
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:unsure: (not sure that I have to do that... a Balrog can perfectly be cooked with its own fire).
Hey! :w00t: A balrog cooked on its own juice and fire :iconmi77kl:
Yeees, the same shop in which I replaced the vitamin-C pills by cyanide :).
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Man, what a coincidence! That's the same shop where I left my "mini-singularity pills (in development)" lying around. I left them by accident in some containers labelled 'Headache Pills' - I thought it was the safest place for them. :)
The lids were child-proof, after all - so I think I acted quite responsibly.
Hey! :w00t: A balrog cooked on its own juice and fire :iconmi77kl:
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Cool! :w00t:
Hmmm, Balrog goes best with a squeeze of lemon juice, then wrapped in a couple of rashers of bacon, with a sprinkle of thyme. Then just pop him in his own hell-fire for about 20minutes. The bacon seals the lemon in and as a result the balrog flavours up nicely into a tender and succulent snack.
*sets plates and cutlery*
I know it's bad news, Aluqak, but...Balrogs are made out of fire... you cannot eat them, they have no flesh.
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Hmmm... me thinks you still have a lot to learn about Aluqak.
"cannot eat"? :huh:
"cannot eat"? :blink:
"cannot eat"? :lol:
He's probably already polished the damn thing off with a bit of ice-cream! :ph34r:
*Luthien's cat enters*
ooh, hello little kitty!
(it purrs a bit, then clears its throat to speak its little cat talk):
[size=8]Meow....[/size]
......[size=8]ooowwaaarrrggghhha[/size]aAAAuurrgghhhhaaawwwwooowwaarrgghhaakkk!!!
:ph34r:
But you cannot actually EAT fire, can you?! :blink:
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Ely, you haven't read all topics Aluqak-related, have you? :ph34r:
I'll just have to assume that.... no, I haven't... but still, there's no way to eat s Balrog, especially the Flame of Udun.
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The only problem Aluqak would have with fire is that it probably isn't filling enough, so he would have to go looking for something about elf-sized to fill the gap. :ph34r:
*FrankenSirus uses the distraction of fire-eating conversation to kill everyone*
*except Aluqak*
*and Markus*
:ph34r:
*and Livi, 'cause she's immortal*
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Nono! There was definitely not any "and Livi, 'cause she's immortal"
:fish:
*Just makes sure*
Anyway, what happens to you immortal types when the sun goes all red dwarf on us and swallows up the Earth? What kind of fun are you gonna have burning and all that. And when it all goes "pop" or fizzles out or whatever and you're left with no planet, and you're drifting around breathing a vacuum - what then, huh?
huh? HUH I SAY??!!
Tell me!!!
yes, you'll wish you were mortal then. Oh yes, indeed... -_-
Well... You've got a point there, Sirius, but fact is, you cannot beat the Valar, so we Elves won't have to breathe vacuum... :rolleyes:
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Cannot beat the Valar? :huh:
But Aluqak will eat the Valar. I don't even know what the Valar is. But he will eat it.
Just as long as we put the right sauce on it.
Surely you can see that the best way forward from here is for you to relinquish your immortality and go willingly into the barbecue. It is the only way. -_-
Are you sure? Here is what happened when I was speaking to Ulmo earlier:
Hey Ulmo! How's it going, would you like some orange juice?
*squeezes some orange juice over Ulmo*
Hey Ulmo, check out the smell of these herbs - don't they give off such a rich aroma?
*sprinkles some herbs over Ulmo*
Hey, Ulmo - you look a bit chilly - let me help you get a bit warmer.
*Pops Ulmo in the oven at 200 degrees, sets timer for 25 minutes* :FIREdevil:
*prepares some king prawns - water gods always go well with prawns*
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*snifs air*...mmmm... It smells funny up here :w00t: Eats Ulmo..... and Tolkien :ph34r:
There is nothing wrong with it Elizabeth. I ate Salmon for dinner... and I can assure you it was quite dead. Yes indeed, a corpse it was. :ph34r:
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Yes, I ate corpses :ph34r:... living things feel a little bit funny when you are swallowing, thus, I prefer to avoid them :)
Bite off the head?.... bite off the head... bite off... Hey! next time I'll bite off the head of the iliving thingy before swallowing it! :w00t:
Man!, I'm a genius :idea:
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Good tip!
*FrankenSirus bites off Elizabeth's head, and swallows the rest of her down*
That's surely gonna hurt, seeing as how she's immortal and all. She must have a sore throat right now, and I guess it won't go away in a hurry. :ph34r:
*FrankenSirus respectfully puts Elizabeth's head on a comfy pillow*
There, hopefully that'll ease the pain a bit. :)
*FrankenSirus respectfully puts Elizabeth's head on a comfy pillow*
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mmm.... a tasty and forgoten head :w00t: !
Puts the head in the oven and, after a 30 min. cook, eats the brain with a spoon... Delicious!!! :lol:
Still, I hope you two didn't swallow too much hair.. It's kinda long, and you may have troulble afterwards... :unsure:
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:unsure:... *opens a dental floss factory*
:unsure:... *opens a dental floss factory*
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I never thought of that.... :blink:
Why it is me who ever has to do those things? :ph34r:
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Hey, Hey, Hey! I have revived him a lot of times with the booze thingy.... and I had to find him a couple heads too :ph34r: Next week, we'll put Livi on it.
I don't intend tearing him apart, but nor I internd putting him together after you kill or rip him or something! :brutale_smilies100:
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Well that's just plain selfish! -_-
Look into his eyes! Is he asking too much if he requests you to set them back in their place?
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Errr... Markus? Those are not eyes, those are golf-balls :unsure: eeerrr... I kinda ... lost Sirus' eyes last time I tried to rebuilt his body. I just had to replace them with ... something :c0857do: