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The story begins...

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IronCretin:
The Young Wizard and his mount ride slowly down through the city.  The hustle and bustle of market greets them as they near the town's common.  A great scene unfolds before them.  Perfumes assail the wizard's nose, accentuated by undertones of roasted duck, pickled geese eggs, and the lingering scent of the exotic Flit's mesh, a fabric woven entirely from the feathers of a fairy-like creature, found only in the N'wahnt moors.  Sounds accompany the sights, as vendors attempt to sell their goods, showing off exquisitely coloured shells of the Rainbow Tortoise, crafted into delicate bowls, fine vases constructed by the elves of Kilaylih, and bizarre contraptions rigged together by the imps during the War of Imps and Gnomes (WIG, also called The War of the Little Ones, much to their chagrin).  The Wizard keeps a close eye on his purse as he makes his way past the merchants, stopping here or there when tempted to do so.  A stunningly beautiful woman catches his eye and he almost loses his concentration long enough for a small gnomish master of prestidigitation to lighten his load.  However, the Young Wizard (whose name shall now be revealed as Forrest Gump. . . but most people call him Forrest Gump Carthicus. . . but prefers Carth (pronounced with a hard C, like Conan, but with less muscle, and no sword)) catches his lustful folly quickly enough to reclaim his goods with a simple spell of levitation. 

Carth continues on his way, exiting the market and following the directions given to him by the Priest (who will, without a doubt, reappear in our story shortly), makes his way to the home of Odenetl, the shaman.  The door of the appropriate address presents itself with character since an extremely talented carpenter has carved a face into the door where the knocker should be.  Carth, unsure of the proper ettiquette when approaching a door that stares back at you, responds as he would at any door, he knocks. 
"Who DARES to touch the face of the portal that leads to the GREAT shaman, Odenetl?"
Carth squints in wonder as the face moves and comes to life before his eyes.  The wood creaks and groans as the door talks, although there is no throat, as such, from which the sound eminates. 
"By order of the Queen I, the great young, unheard of until now, wizard CARTH doth disturb the face of the portal that leads to the GREAT shaman Ode-nettle."
"Odenetl!"
"That's right, Ode-nettle"
The door creaks forth a sigh.
"Very well then, I take it the Queen has need of my services once again."
"I'm sorry door, did you say YOUR services?  For I was sent to summon forth the great shaman Ode-nettle. . . not the great face of the portal of the GREAT shaman Ode-nettle."
"STEP BACK, oh young inattentive wizard, for you shall witness firsthand the power of a master shaman."
Carth steps back, as he does so the wood of the door seems to dissipate.  The face, simultaneously, begins to coalesce into a more lifelike representation of a man.  In fact, out of the wall materialises a fully grown man with the features of the door's face.  Before long the man appears complete, and the wall behind is indistinguishable from any other wall along the street.
The man is not unlike the trees which he has, undoubtably, studied his entire life.  His skin seems tough and worn, almost with the texture of wood.  His hair is coarse and springs out from underneath a journeyman's cap like a bed of nettles.  His hands are gnarled, seemingly with arthritis, or some such affliction, yet they move with the grace of a blade of grass in the wind.  His eyes are deep and shadowed, his face surrounded with a matted beard, almost moss-like in formation.  His clothes are adorned with carvings, necklaces, talismans, and a large dreamweaver hangs about his neck.  He is garbed in a long, dark green robe.  A small animal of some sort seems to cling to his shoulders, which Carth can only assume to be his familiar, or Fylgja.  As Carth watches, a staff seems to shoot up from the ground and into the shaman's waiting hand.
"I am Odenetl, that's ODENETL, NOT Ode-nettle!  I am here for the Queen young man, NOT summoned by you, nor for you.  Now if you'll kindly tell me WHY you've disturbed me, we might be on our way, and I may return to my slumber."

And so (which is how all these time filling sequences begin) Carth fills Odenetl in on their task and the two share the horse (who is less than ecstatic about having TWO riders) for the journey to the fields.  Which was horribly eventful and full of wonders beyond your imagination. . . Thus I shall save us both the trouble and ignore them, for next we shall pick up at the fields, where the great wizards of CSI shall analyse the fields using the magicks of forensics. . . oh. . . wait. . . Nevermind. . . THUS. . . yadda yadda yadda, pick up at the fields, where Carth and the GREAT shaman Odenetl shall attempt to get to the bottom of this crisis once and FOR ALL. . .

~The (Ever Boring) Cretin~

Luth:
In the meanwhile, the Queen is talking with the High Priest about their decitions. To send a young and unexperienced apprentice of wizard seems no logic to the Queen, but the Priest is sure: he tells her that the Omen has talked. Nothing is sure, but one thing: this young apprentice is going to become someone very important in the developement of the story of these lands. What he can't tell is in which direction...

The One:
Odenetl and the young wizard riding on a single horse arrive at the scene of crime, the burned fields and dismount. A farmer lying under a tree sees them and stands up, the man's hat covers his face. "Are you here to bring even more destruction?" he says in a low voice. Right before any reply can be given, he goes on: "You see, some strange force came here and burned the fields, the barn, everything I had, even the little cattle I had was burned to death. The only thing left are these ashes, myself my wife and my children... Thank Notessomes our Queen will try to get the problem solved"
"Sir, we are here to try to find what caused this problem" says Odenetl
"An adolescent and a queerly-dressed old man!? What good can you two do here? If this what the Queen has sent to help me, this kingdom must be in a time of decadence!" the farmer exclaimed
"Sir, I am highly capable of finding the responsible for this crime" replies Odenetl
"Ok, go ahead, I don't know what will you be able to do here, but I already have pretty much nothing to lose... One more thing... You young one, I know your type, so if you get a single finger of yours on my daughter, I'm hanging you on a a pine tree's branch!" Says the farmer before going back under the tree where he was lying.
The wizard spies the rest of the farmers family down the field. He and the shaman ride towards them to make some questions. They engage in a conversation with the farmer's wife and his older daughter, but obtain no other than the information than the information than what the farmer had told them already.
During the conversation the young lady catches the wizard's eye, pretty face, blue eyes, wavy blond hair. After the important questions are over, he engages in a more casual conversation with her. Suddenly, the pretty girl's father appears running and screaming, armed with a stick.
His attack is quick and impredictable, the young one recieves a fair blow in the head and falls to the ground unconcious.

What will happen next?

Loke:


   The sound of a sweet song awakes our young one, still, dizzzy due to the fierce attack recieved, he walkes towards the music , wondering if this is the world in which he is used to walk , or if he is immerse in a fantasy  that will make his transition to the other world easier..., at the bottom of a tree he could see the figure of what it looked like a man, or at least that's what he thought at a glimps.


   From within the man-shaped shodow a deep voice emerged, "come here young one...and be ready to recieve the advice of the twisted bard..."


   Next ..it's up to you :)


yo yo yo :)

IronCretin:
Carth approaches the withered figure, "Who. . . or what are you?"
Upon approaching, the scene changes drastically.  The tree bursts into flames, fire lapping at the air hungrily. A dense fog descends around Carth and masks all but the budding conflagration.  The figure is benighted by the mist, and Carth looks around helplessly.
"Give UP on your tasssk.  You have no bussinessss here, in these fieldssss, with thisssss SHAMAN." The enshrouded character spits out the last word, which seethes with hate. 
"I repeat my question, who ARE you?"
"YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!"
Music again greets the young wizard's ears, however it is discordant, and unharmonious.  The music is disorientating and Carth struggles to maintain conciousness.  The flames seem to feed on the notes and move quickly towards Carth, as if propelled by the oils of Dragonskins.  Carth cries out and then swoons into complete mental exhaustion.

Carth awakens, bathed in his own sweat, feverish. 
"Ahhhh, young one, you are awake.  Clearly a great spell has been lifted."
Carth cannot master his voice, but attempts to do so, nonethesless.  "Whhh. . . I. . . a witch. . ."
"Speak SENSE. . . Here, drink this."
Odenetl tips Carth's head back and a smooth liquid, tasting of lavender oils, flows into Carth's mouth.
"I saw a WITCH Odenetl. . . a serpents voice, flames, fog. . . It was HORRIBLE!"
Color drains from Odenetl's cheeks, and his lip quavers ever so slightly.
"A serpents voice you say?  May the gods help us. . . Lamia has returned."

And so the mystery deepens. . . who is this Lamia?  How is she associated with the burned crops?  Why was there music playing?  Did The Cretin ruin Loke's AWESOME plot twist?  Why did Paul Di'anno feel compelled to write a song to her?  Does this signify Paul returning to front Iron Maiden?  STAY TUNED TO HEAR THE ANSWERS TO ALL THESE QUESTIONS (except the last two) AND MORE!

~The (Festering) Cretin~

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